Our early ages in life define who we are. As children our reality is our truth because we don’t know anything else. Whatever happens to and around a child is what is. Children don’t question what happens, and are also so pure that they blame themselves if something goes wrong. As we grow up we carry this with us. It becomes the glasses from which we view the world, and that becomes our reality. The mirror from which we view ourselves too.
If you heal your childhood drama and your inner child, you can heal your future relationships. We’re actually all just children masquerading as adults. We mirror our parents in our partners and so we replay our past in our current relationships trying to fill in the void of the past. The void of not being seen, heard, understood or accepted unconditionally. Because those are the four basic needs a small child has. To be seen, heard, understood and accepted unconditionally. If we don’t get these needs fulfilled as children we’ll be trying to get this from our adult relationships. And so does the other person. Not until we heal our past, and our inner children that we can have healthy relationships as adults.
Embrace your inner child, see and listen, be still and compassionate. You did your best, you didn’t know better. Understand that what happened, happened because of the conditions and circumstances of your upbringing. If you would know better you would have done better. This is the work. Trying to accept what happened, even if it will take years, let it take years. Don’t be in a hurry, stay compassionate as you would be with a child because that is who you’re healing.